Matters of Substance
I rewatched "Brunch" on Season 2 of HIMYM the other day, and one of the things that struck me was how similar Ted and I are when it comes to talking with our parents. For me, the list of topics that I discuss with them includes food, money, and my siblings. It does not involve anything that is remotely personal.
I am not sure why that is the case. I suppose that the language thing has a little to do with it, as I cannot express all my thoughts and emotions, my dreams, desires, and fears as well in Chinese as I can in English, and for them it is the other way around. And all this did not use to matter, because they had a pretty good read on me when I lived with them. But that was over eight years ago, and things are oh so different now.
I still have not heard the story of how they met. I get the feeling that Mary knows, because she actually talks to my mom from time to time, but would it not be great to hear it first hand? Why should it be so weird asking one's parents, who have had years of experience on you, for relationship advice since they were able to make it work? Step one needs to be overcoming the initial awkwardness. I do not believe it worked so well for me when I tried it some years ago. Maybe it is time to pay my old friend, Mr. Confidence, a visit.
I am not sure why that is the case. I suppose that the language thing has a little to do with it, as I cannot express all my thoughts and emotions, my dreams, desires, and fears as well in Chinese as I can in English, and for them it is the other way around. And all this did not use to matter, because they had a pretty good read on me when I lived with them. But that was over eight years ago, and things are oh so different now.
I still have not heard the story of how they met. I get the feeling that Mary knows, because she actually talks to my mom from time to time, but would it not be great to hear it first hand? Why should it be so weird asking one's parents, who have had years of experience on you, for relationship advice since they were able to make it work? Step one needs to be overcoming the initial awkwardness. I do not believe it worked so well for me when I tried it some years ago. Maybe it is time to pay my old friend, Mr. Confidence, a visit.
Labels: life
For me it requires working it into the conversation somehow (as naturally as possible) - usually it works best when there's comedy involved. Like, say, referencing a funny encounter in a movie you've both watched. That way you're talking about a 3rd party before talking about yourself. good luck!
-carr
Posted by
Anonymous |
July 16, 2008 at 5:10 PM
Tell Mr. Confidence to pay me a visit too...
I'm relatively close to my parents. I know basically how they met and what their first date was like, and probably what their second was like as well. I don't know too much behind it other than the facts, though. Still, I don't generally turn to them for personal advice, or when I need someone to vent to. They're curious, as parents tend to be, so they'll ask, and generally when they ask, I'll answer their questions. It just can be difficult when I don't see eye to eye with them on certain things.
In some ways, their years of experience could probably help me out, but since the times are changing, what with technology and societal "standards" becoming more laid back, sometimes I do wonder how much help they can offer me in certain situations.
Posted by
Starlight |
July 16, 2008 at 11:04 PM