Bill Simmons and Football
Bill Simmons is too funny..
Now we're halfway through the season and the Pats have openly avoided using their new kicker, rookie Stephen Gostkowski, including a bizarre instance last Monday when they were leading 31-7 late in the fourth quarter, had a fourth-and-5 on the Minnesota 31 and chose to go for it -- with Brady getting popped on the play -- over the rookie attempting a 49-yard kick in a dome. Inexplicable. One day before, Vinatieri had nailed the game-winner for the Colts in Denver, a 48-yarder that split the middle of the uprights like a sniper bullet, and after the kick went through, you could see the joy on Indy's sideline -- not that he made the kick as much as they knew he wasn't going to miss it.
Watching Manning celebrate on the sidelines while we were at my friend Jimmy's house, I made the perfect analogy that I can't use here because it's a family Web site, so I'll pass along the sanitized version: Manning looked like a guy who had just spent the past five years dating someone who never made him chocolate chip cookies, and now, he found himself dating a girl who made the best chocolate chip cookies in town. And the look on his face was like, ""Woo hoo! I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! I'm gonna get chocolate chip cookies all the time!!! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!""
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Number of Dallas readers who e-mailed me some form of a ""We're turning into a city of Romosexuals!"" joke last week: between 75 and 100. And here's a salient question from Connor in Texas: ""Is there a more awkward moment in sports television than having to watch networks repeatedly show the 'recently benched starting quarterback who has to act like he is still cheering for the team?' Kurt Warner used to be the king of this glorious camera time, but it appears as though Drew Bledsoe will be taking the throne very soon. There has got to be a real-life equivalent of this ... ""
Come on, that's easy: the real-life equivalent is a buddy is meeting the new boyfriend of an ex-girlfriend, followed by pleasantries being exchanged and then the new boyfriend standing there with the Bledsoe-on-the-sidelines look.
Now we're halfway through the season and the Pats have openly avoided using their new kicker, rookie Stephen Gostkowski, including a bizarre instance last Monday when they were leading 31-7 late in the fourth quarter, had a fourth-and-5 on the Minnesota 31 and chose to go for it -- with Brady getting popped on the play -- over the rookie attempting a 49-yard kick in a dome. Inexplicable. One day before, Vinatieri had nailed the game-winner for the Colts in Denver, a 48-yarder that split the middle of the uprights like a sniper bullet, and after the kick went through, you could see the joy on Indy's sideline -- not that he made the kick as much as they knew he wasn't going to miss it.
Watching Manning celebrate on the sidelines while we were at my friend Jimmy's house, I made the perfect analogy that I can't use here because it's a family Web site, so I'll pass along the sanitized version: Manning looked like a guy who had just spent the past five years dating someone who never made him chocolate chip cookies, and now, he found himself dating a girl who made the best chocolate chip cookies in town. And the look on his face was like, ""Woo hoo! I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! I'm gonna get chocolate chip cookies all the time!!! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!""
***
Number of Dallas readers who e-mailed me some form of a ""We're turning into a city of Romosexuals!"" joke last week: between 75 and 100. And here's a salient question from Connor in Texas: ""Is there a more awkward moment in sports television than having to watch networks repeatedly show the 'recently benched starting quarterback who has to act like he is still cheering for the team?' Kurt Warner used to be the king of this glorious camera time, but it appears as though Drew Bledsoe will be taking the throne very soon. There has got to be a real-life equivalent of this ... ""
Come on, that's easy: the real-life equivalent is a buddy is meeting the new boyfriend of an ex-girlfriend, followed by pleasantries being exchanged and then the new boyfriend standing there with the Bledsoe-on-the-sidelines look.
